Looking back, Karen knew Tommy wasn’t her person either. But that was ok. Karen needed to be her own person. ‘Joan, I understand the pain of losing someone you love very young. If I lost my child I don’t know if I would be able to get out of bed. But I don’t think Tommy and I would have been right for each other.’ ‘But he kept those poems you wrote. He had them for over ten years.’ Karen kept taking deep breaths, hoping that sharing the realization she had come to years before would somehow help Joan. ‘Tommy and I were kids. Neither of us had much empathy. I was different and I don’t think he knew how to handle me. To be honest, I didn’t know how to handle myself at that time. I wrote those poems and gave them to him without thinking how he and his friends would react. I was impulsive and infatuated. Even if he did enjoy the attention, it was probably too much for him.’ ‘I still don’t understand why he would still have them if he didn’t actually care about you. Perhaps if he had said. "But seriously, I'm just not ready."She got serious. "Were you hurt elsewhere, by the IED, I mean? Did it leave you unable to perform sexually? Is that the real problem? 'Cause that won't be an issue." What?! No. NO, " I said a bit too loudly. "You can check with Carmel in Shreveport, before I met you. Or Angie in Lansing, that was about five years back. Or..." Okay! Stop! I got the picture. I don't want to know about all of them. Do you want to know about mine? There was Mel Stokowski; he was seventeen and I was eighteen. He was the backup center on the basketball team, and..."I reached over and put my hand over her mouth."I don't want to hear about any of them," I said softly. "Whether there was one, or sixty-one."She took my hand in both of hers, pulling it quietly to the table."Okay. What about how I dress, now? Do you like the clothes I bought in Orlando? Bright colors, you said." They're fine. Great. You look good. Sexy even," I said. She deserved an honest answer – as honest.
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